At 6 this morning, my phone rang. I did not recognize the number so I didn’t answer. They did leave a voicemail so I sleepily listened to it:
This is a message for Dan. Dan, this is Deb with Mark Merri-something (our number is blah blah blah) wondering if you still wanted to rock or if this rain that we had overnight is a problem. Will not shoot till we hear back.
Wait, what? I couldn’t stop thinking about it. My 6 a.m. brain had these ideas of what it could mean:
- A rich guy having his secretary set up a round of golf with a friend for the day. Using cool lingo. But at 6?
- Someone is setting up a concert? Maybe this “Dan” is someone famous! But if you are hardcore enough to plan to “rock” early on a Friday morning, are you really gonna let a little rain deter you?
- This idea was guided by the “will not shoot” part… was someone holding a member of Dan’s family hostage to force him to use his inside information to rob a bank or museum or get past security somewhere? (What? No, I don’t watch too much tv!)
- Zzzzz…. (I fell back asleep.)
Later, I looked up the phone number and listened to the message about 10 more times and figured out what it actually said:
This is a message for Dan. Dan, this is Deb with Martin Marrietta (our number is 402.267.2455) wondering if you still wanted the rock or if this rain that we had overnight is a problem. Will not ship till we hear back.
Oh. The plot thins. Well, I hope you got your rock, Dan.
Appendix A: Puns
Deb had a gravelly voice…. which is why it was hard for me to understand her and I took for granite some of the things that she said.
This undermined the true message.